[ His mouth snaps shut, blush climbing all the way up to his ears as he manages to force himself to meet Akira's gaze for a second before looking away again. ]
[ First kisses are a big deal to a lot of people, he knows this. Having it 'stolen' like that is reasonable cause for upset.
Haruaki is a very kind, very patient person, so that might be all this is. But what if it wasn't? He's had some pretty awful things done to him and forgiven the perpetrators, so that might be all this is. But what if it wasn't?
In spite of all his enigmatic smiles, Akira is in fact an open book. And what's front and center on the pages of his eyes is hope. ]
[ Honestly? His brain is still processing the fact that it happened at all. He can't exactly be upset about something he hasn't fully internalized yet.
Even when he does, though... ]
No, I'm... [ What's the word he's looking for... ] Curious?
[ His hands are still on Akira's shoulders. He's not sure what to do with them, fingers flexing nervously.
Learning about someone is how Akira shows his respect. Haruaki learned that about him fairly quickly, all things considered. Maybe he can take a leaf out of that book. ]
That's a good thing to be, of course, and for the most part Akira isn't a man of many secrets. Just the ones he's learned from experience would upset people if he admitted to them, so he keeps them shoved away in...an admittedly not tightly locked box. He has far too little shame to put that much effort into hiding them.
But this is one of those things that might upset someone, and someone important at that. Feelings are complicated things, things with the power to change people and relationships fundamentally, both for better and for worse.
And he doesn't have nearly enough data to say which way admitting to something like this could go.
But he makes the mistake of looking into those curious eyes and once again his heart is seized. ]
Well...I wanted to.
[ Despite the nerves, he keeps his eyes on Haruaki's, searching for any kind of reaction. ]
[ He shouldn't explain it, not everything, not now. Excited and eager as he is to just let everything spill out as it comes, now isn't the time. He can't very well leave it at that, though, can he...?
The hand still at Haruaki's cheek moves its thumb, gently brushing against bright, sun-kissed skin. Gods, how is it still so soft? ]
You're endlessly clever, and use that to be kind. You've made unspeakable differences in people's lives, more than someone as humble as you will ever be willing to admit. You think in ways no one I've ever met has gotten even close to, and I want to see more, learn more, learn every possible thing I can about you and how you operate and still be surprised by what you do and what you say.
...I also like the way the whole of you reacts when you see something that makes you happy. The way your pupils dilate, the slight flush of your cheeks, even your hair looks like it's enjoying itself.
[ It's hard to put into words, he says, before putting the kindest words ever spoken about Haruaki into the universe.
His cheek steadily burns hotter beneath Akira's gentle hand, and the only word for the expression that overtakes his face is stunned.
For a brief second, he wonders if it's a trap. Some way for the mad doctor to get one over on him andโ what, vivisect him? But he's already got Haruaki in a hospital bed, at his mercy. There's no need to go for overkill like this. And besides, even if he did, is excessive flattery really Akira's style of subterfuge? He's more likely to use his intellect than anything, and then brute force after that...
No, all signs point to what everything he's saying being entirely sincere.
Which raises a thousand more questions in Haruaki's mind, really. He didn't know Akira was paying such close attention to him.
There are so many things he could say, wants to say. But in the endโ
His hands drop from Akira's shoulders, come up in front of his own chest, index fingers pressing together. ]
If all of that is true, then...
[ As if in response to Akira's observations of him, his cowlick wiggles back and forth as he bows his head just enough to be able to look up at Akira through his lashes. On anyone else, it might be a calculated move to look as flirtatious and appealing as possible โ on Haruaki, it's entirely genuine. He doesn't mean to look the way he does. Not right now, out of his depth as he is. ]
[ Adorable. It really shouldn't be possible for one person to be so cute, and yet here Haruaki is in front of him doing everything he just mentioned. Akira must look the picture definition of smitten, unable to keep his expression schooled and neutral (or, his version of neutral) with such a specimen--what did he just say???
And that lack of schooling shows his shock clear as day. ]
You...you really want to?
[ And speaking of flush, of dilating pupils, Akira's no better. He couldn't be broadcasting his hopes for an answer louder if he started begging outright. ]
[ They're not normally things Haruaki would take note of, but having his attention called to his own autonomous reactions has him watching Akira with a keener eye. Is it a coincidence that he sees exactly what Akira described mirrored back at him?
Akira's seeing something that makes him happy...
It makes Haruaki's cheeks burn brighter, sure, but it makes him more certain of this than before, too.
That serious mood snaps in half as he flusters, voice raising far too loud for how close they are (and how not secluded the nurse's office is) once more. ]
[ --pppppffffffffff, alright, that snap in mood was needed, actually. It brings the more obvious joy back to his face, smile wide and full of teeth as he needs a moment to just laugh at the surprise of it all. ]
Okay, I'll keep my tongue to myself! I promise.
[ Boy howdy if any of those rambunctious kids stuck around to eavesdrop about any diagnosis they're getting a hell of a show.
But that's not what's on Akira's mind. What's on Akira's mind is Haruaki, and making sure this is a much gentler, memorable experience.
His collar is released, that hand instead moving to cup Haruaki's chin, an affectionate gesture and silent request to stay where he is. One more chance, lingering as he tilts his head just-so, to bail out if it all gets to be too much. ]
[ Cowardaki has left the building. For once, there's no part of Haruaki that wants to run away. His pulse pounds fast enough that Akira can likely feel it right through his skin, butโ he doesn't move.
He holds Akira's too-close gaze for a moment longer, eyes wide and guileless before he lets them slip shut.
He hadn't known what to do last time, and he doubts he will this time, butโ now that Akira knows that, maybe he'll show him the way. ]
[ Eyes shut is a good start. It's unfortunately difficult for even him to observe the entirety of someone's face for reactions this close, so for now social norms it is.
But it is also a little bit more romantic, isn't it? His own eyes sliding shut as he guides Haruaki's mouth to his, the first touch of lips once again so, so gentle. Almost reverent in how they're taking the time to savor it all this go-around.
He can still feel for reactions this way. Still know how Haruaki's feeling... ]
[ It's entirely different now that he's expecting it, and isn't that something all on its own? To expect to be kissed, by someone who really, really wants to kiss himโ maybe he's stuck in a dream, actually. Things like this don't happen to Abe Haruaki.
But he can't just sit there and let it happen to him this time! He has to do something too. Kiss Akira back, as utterly mind-blowing as the idea even is.
So...
He just. Sort of. Tries to mirror the movement of Akira's lips, gentle pressure returned, but he can't stop himself from smiling, and that makes things more difficult. ]
[ It's such a different experience when you're expecting it, when you know it's wanted. When you can feel that smile and see it in your mind's eye, unable to keep one away yourself, and that's hardly a reason to stop as far as Akira's concerned.
But this is a teaching moment as much as it is an indulgence. Tried and true as following your instincts is, there are some things one might forget while all caught up in giddiness and passion...
Like breathing.
When Akira eventually separates it can barely be called that--his lips are right back on Haruaki in an instant, peppering smaller kisses at the corners of his mouth as if he can't bear to be apart even if he has to for just a little bit.
Hm. How does one train to hold their breath longer? Something else to put a pin in for later. ]
[ Nooooo... don't throw him in the tank with the human faced fish in the biology club...
It's over, suddenlyโ and then it's not, Akira's lips pecking rapidfire at each corner of his own. That doesn't make Haruaki's grin subside at all; it only grows, in fact, until he's a blushing, giggling thing as he tries in vain to catch his breath.
His hands have found Akira's front at some point during that sweet kiss, and he fiddles with the collar of his shirt now, the fabric of his slightly too large white coat. ]
I still have a lot to learn. Will you keep teaching me, Takahashi-sensei?
Keep? Keep teaching him? Keep kissing him, after right now, after today??
Both of Akira's hands are on Haruaki's face, slightly squishing those pink cheeks in excitement as he finally lets some of it through, answering before he even has time to properly think over his word choice. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I mean...
[ Ah. All those words just sank in. ]
That's what I would say if... I was a truly pathetic person...
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[ Just a second, seems like the implications of all that hadn't actually sunk in.
He was Haruaki's first kiss. He, Takahashi Akira, was Abe Haruaki's first kiss.
...Is his face only turning redder now? ]
I see! That's an interesting prank to pull on someone, especially a teacher. You really have a rambunctious class, don't you, Abe-sensei?
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Haruaki looks askance, clearly embarrassed now. ]
No, I think they really were trying to help me...
[ That's. Probably a charitable read of the situation. ]
But now I just look even more pathetic...
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That's not how I'd put it. If I had to say anything, though, it would be "sorry".
1/4 give him. a minute. christ
You don't have to say sorry, Takahashi-sensei! It's not like you knew it was my first kโ
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Akira just. Wanted to kiss him? Saw the opportunity and took it?
Has he been waiting for a situation like this?
Has Haruaki missed several cues somewhere?
What is going on??? ]
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Um...
[ The tongue was a little much, yeah, butโ ]
I'm not upset. So you don't have to say sorry.
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[ First kisses are a big deal to a lot of people, he knows this. Having it 'stolen' like that is reasonable cause for upset.
Haruaki is a very kind, very patient person, so that might be all this is. But what if it wasn't? He's had some pretty awful things done to him and forgiven the perpetrators, so that might be all this is. But what if it wasn't?
In spite of all his enigmatic smiles, Akira is in fact an open book. And what's front and center on the pages of his eyes is hope. ]
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Even when he does, though... ]
No, I'm... [ What's the word he's looking for... ] Curious?
[ His hands are still on Akira's shoulders. He's not sure what to do with them, fingers flexing nervously.
Learning about someone is how Akira shows his respect. Haruaki learned that about him fairly quickly, all things considered. Maybe he can take a leaf out of that book. ]
What made you do that?
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That's a good thing to be, of course, and for the most part Akira isn't a man of many secrets. Just the ones he's learned from experience would upset people if he admitted to them, so he keeps them shoved away in...an admittedly not tightly locked box. He has far too little shame to put that much effort into hiding them.
But this is one of those things that might upset someone, and someone important at that. Feelings are complicated things, things with the power to change people and relationships fundamentally, both for better and for worse.
And he doesn't have nearly enough data to say which way admitting to something like this could go.
But he makes the mistake of looking into those curious eyes and once again his heart is seized. ]
Well...I wanted to.
[ Despite the nerves, he keeps his eyes on Haruaki's, searching for any kind of reaction. ]
I've wanted to for some time, to be honest.
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Pure, utter confusion. ]
You have? Why?
[ It isn't put on at all. Nothing about this is Haruaki demurring. He isn't even acting self-conscious.
He plainly doesn't understand why Akira would want to kiss him. ]
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[ He shouldn't explain it, not everything, not now. Excited and eager as he is to just let everything spill out as it comes, now isn't the time. He can't very well leave it at that, though, can he...?
The hand still at Haruaki's cheek moves its thumb, gently brushing against bright, sun-kissed skin. Gods, how is it still so soft? ]
You're endlessly clever, and use that to be kind. You've made unspeakable differences in people's lives, more than someone as humble as you will ever be willing to admit. You think in ways no one I've ever met has gotten even close to, and I want to see more, learn more, learn every possible thing I can about you and how you operate and still be surprised by what you do and what you say.
...I also like the way the whole of you reacts when you see something that makes you happy. The way your pupils dilate, the slight flush of your cheeks, even your hair looks like it's enjoying itself.
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His cheek steadily burns hotter beneath Akira's gentle hand, and the only word for the expression that overtakes his face is stunned.
For a brief second, he wonders if it's a trap. Some way for the mad doctor to get one over on him andโ what, vivisect him? But he's already got Haruaki in a hospital bed, at his mercy. There's no need to go for overkill like this. And besides, even if he did, is excessive flattery really Akira's style of subterfuge? He's more likely to use his intellect than anything, and then brute force after that...
No, all signs point to what everything he's saying being entirely sincere.
Which raises a thousand more questions in Haruaki's mind, really. He didn't know Akira was paying such close attention to him.
There are so many things he could say, wants to say. But in the endโ
His hands drop from Akira's shoulders, come up in front of his own chest, index fingers pressing together. ]
If all of that is true, then...
[ As if in response to Akira's observations of him, his cowlick wiggles back and forth as he bows his head just enough to be able to look up at Akira through his lashes. On anyone else, it might be a calculated move to look as flirtatious and appealing as possible โ on Haruaki, it's entirely genuine. He doesn't mean to look the way he does. Not right now, out of his depth as he is. ]
Shouldn't we have a redo?
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And that lack of schooling shows his shock clear as day. ]
You...you really want to?
[ And speaking of flush, of dilating pupils, Akira's no better. He couldn't be broadcasting his hopes for an answer louder if he started begging outright. ]
1/2
Akira's seeing something that makes him happy...
It makes Haruaki's cheeks burn brighter, sure, but it makes him more certain of this than before, too.
He nods, hums a soft mmhmm. ]
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That serious mood snaps in half as he flusters, voice raising far too loud for how close they are (and how not secluded the nurse's office is) once more. ]
Without your tongue this time, Takahashi-sensei!!
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Okay, I'll keep my tongue to myself! I promise.
[ Boy howdy if any of those rambunctious kids stuck around to eavesdrop about any diagnosis they're getting a hell of a show.
But that's not what's on Akira's mind. What's on Akira's mind is Haruaki, and making sure this is a much gentler, memorable experience.
His collar is released, that hand instead moving to cup Haruaki's chin, an affectionate gesture and silent request to stay where he is. One more chance, lingering as he tilts his head just-so, to bail out if it all gets to be too much. ]
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He holds Akira's too-close gaze for a moment longer, eyes wide and guileless before he lets them slip shut.
He hadn't known what to do last time, and he doubts he will this time, butโ now that Akira knows that, maybe he'll show him the way. ]
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But it is also a little bit more romantic, isn't it? His own eyes sliding shut as he guides Haruaki's mouth to his, the first touch of lips once again so, so gentle. Almost reverent in how they're taking the time to savor it all this go-around.
He can still feel for reactions this way. Still know how Haruaki's feeling... ]
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But he can't just sit there and let it happen to him this time! He has to do something too. Kiss Akira back, as utterly mind-blowing as the idea even is.
So...
He just. Sort of. Tries to mirror the movement of Akira's lips, gentle pressure returned, but he can't stop himself from smiling, and that makes things more difficult. ]
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But this is a teaching moment as much as it is an indulgence. Tried and true as following your instincts is, there are some things one might forget while all caught up in giddiness and passion...
Like breathing.
When Akira eventually separates it can barely be called that--his lips are right back on Haruaki in an instant, peppering smaller kisses at the corners of his mouth as if he can't bear to be apart even if he has to for just a little bit.
Hm. How does one train to hold their breath longer? Something else to put a pin in for later. ]
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It's over, suddenlyโ and then it's not, Akira's lips pecking rapidfire at each corner of his own. That doesn't make Haruaki's grin subside at all; it only grows, in fact, until he's a blushing, giggling thing as he tries in vain to catch his breath.
His hands have found Akira's front at some point during that sweet kiss, and he fiddles with the collar of his shirt now, the fabric of his slightly too large white coat. ]
I still have a lot to learn. Will you keep teaching me, Takahashi-sensei?
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Keep? Keep teaching him? Keep kissing him, after right now, after today??
Both of Akira's hands are on Haruaki's face, slightly squishing those pink cheeks in excitement as he finally lets some of it through, answering before he even has time to properly think over his word choice. ]
I would love to! I'd love nothing more!
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Haruaki speaks through it, words coming slightly muffled from his mooshed cheeks. ]
I can't wait to tell the uniforms about this...
[ He still looks fairly stunned at Akira, at all of what's transpired. There's something he has to say, but...
The bell rings, and all of the sudden, he's yanked back down to earth.
He smooths Akira's coat down with both hands, reaches up to gently take his wrists and get un-squished. ]
I have class with the first years, so I have to go, but...
[ A beat, and then he leans in quick as a flash, lips pressing against Akira's in a chaste, inelegant kiss.
He did it!! ]
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gross. god. bye
the way i can't even begin to write this the way i wanna you're the wooOOOOOORST
hehes louder and louder
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sickening..... SICKENINGGGGGGGGG
CHEWS YOU CHEWS YOU CHEWS YOU