[ He shouldn't explain it, not everything, not now. Excited and eager as he is to just let everything spill out as it comes, now isn't the time. He can't very well leave it at that, though, can he...?
The hand still at Haruaki's cheek moves its thumb, gently brushing against bright, sun-kissed skin. Gods, how is it still so soft? ]
You're endlessly clever, and use that to be kind. You've made unspeakable differences in people's lives, more than someone as humble as you will ever be willing to admit. You think in ways no one I've ever met has gotten even close to, and I want to see more, learn more, learn every possible thing I can about you and how you operate and still be surprised by what you do and what you say.
...I also like the way the whole of you reacts when you see something that makes you happy. The way your pupils dilate, the slight flush of your cheeks, even your hair looks like it's enjoying itself.
[ It's hard to put into words, he says, before putting the kindest words ever spoken about Haruaki into the universe.
His cheek steadily burns hotter beneath Akira's gentle hand, and the only word for the expression that overtakes his face is stunned.
For a brief second, he wonders if it's a trap. Some way for the mad doctor to get one over on him andโ what, vivisect him? But he's already got Haruaki in a hospital bed, at his mercy. There's no need to go for overkill like this. And besides, even if he did, is excessive flattery really Akira's style of subterfuge? He's more likely to use his intellect than anything, and then brute force after that...
No, all signs point to what everything he's saying being entirely sincere.
Which raises a thousand more questions in Haruaki's mind, really. He didn't know Akira was paying such close attention to him.
There are so many things he could say, wants to say. But in the endโ
His hands drop from Akira's shoulders, come up in front of his own chest, index fingers pressing together. ]
If all of that is true, then...
[ As if in response to Akira's observations of him, his cowlick wiggles back and forth as he bows his head just enough to be able to look up at Akira through his lashes. On anyone else, it might be a calculated move to look as flirtatious and appealing as possible โ on Haruaki, it's entirely genuine. He doesn't mean to look the way he does. Not right now, out of his depth as he is. ]
[ Adorable. It really shouldn't be possible for one person to be so cute, and yet here Haruaki is in front of him doing everything he just mentioned. Akira must look the picture definition of smitten, unable to keep his expression schooled and neutral (or, his version of neutral) with such a specimen--what did he just say???
And that lack of schooling shows his shock clear as day. ]
You...you really want to?
[ And speaking of flush, of dilating pupils, Akira's no better. He couldn't be broadcasting his hopes for an answer louder if he started begging outright. ]
[ They're not normally things Haruaki would take note of, but having his attention called to his own autonomous reactions has him watching Akira with a keener eye. Is it a coincidence that he sees exactly what Akira described mirrored back at him?
Akira's seeing something that makes him happy...
It makes Haruaki's cheeks burn brighter, sure, but it makes him more certain of this than before, too.
That serious mood snaps in half as he flusters, voice raising far too loud for how close they are (and how not secluded the nurse's office is) once more. ]
[ --pppppffffffffff, alright, that snap in mood was needed, actually. It brings the more obvious joy back to his face, smile wide and full of teeth as he needs a moment to just laugh at the surprise of it all. ]
Okay, I'll keep my tongue to myself! I promise.
[ Boy howdy if any of those rambunctious kids stuck around to eavesdrop about any diagnosis they're getting a hell of a show.
But that's not what's on Akira's mind. What's on Akira's mind is Haruaki, and making sure this is a much gentler, memorable experience.
His collar is released, that hand instead moving to cup Haruaki's chin, an affectionate gesture and silent request to stay where he is. One more chance, lingering as he tilts his head just-so, to bail out if it all gets to be too much. ]
[ Cowardaki has left the building. For once, there's no part of Haruaki that wants to run away. His pulse pounds fast enough that Akira can likely feel it right through his skin, butโ he doesn't move.
He holds Akira's too-close gaze for a moment longer, eyes wide and guileless before he lets them slip shut.
He hadn't known what to do last time, and he doubts he will this time, butโ now that Akira knows that, maybe he'll show him the way. ]
[ Eyes shut is a good start. It's unfortunately difficult for even him to observe the entirety of someone's face for reactions this close, so for now social norms it is.
But it is also a little bit more romantic, isn't it? His own eyes sliding shut as he guides Haruaki's mouth to his, the first touch of lips once again so, so gentle. Almost reverent in how they're taking the time to savor it all this go-around.
He can still feel for reactions this way. Still know how Haruaki's feeling... ]
[ It's entirely different now that he's expecting it, and isn't that something all on its own? To expect to be kissed, by someone who really, really wants to kiss himโ maybe he's stuck in a dream, actually. Things like this don't happen to Abe Haruaki.
But he can't just sit there and let it happen to him this time! He has to do something too. Kiss Akira back, as utterly mind-blowing as the idea even is.
So...
He just. Sort of. Tries to mirror the movement of Akira's lips, gentle pressure returned, but he can't stop himself from smiling, and that makes things more difficult. ]
[ It's such a different experience when you're expecting it, when you know it's wanted. When you can feel that smile and see it in your mind's eye, unable to keep one away yourself, and that's hardly a reason to stop as far as Akira's concerned.
But this is a teaching moment as much as it is an indulgence. Tried and true as following your instincts is, there are some things one might forget while all caught up in giddiness and passion...
Like breathing.
When Akira eventually separates it can barely be called that--his lips are right back on Haruaki in an instant, peppering smaller kisses at the corners of his mouth as if he can't bear to be apart even if he has to for just a little bit.
Hm. How does one train to hold their breath longer? Something else to put a pin in for later. ]
[ Nooooo... don't throw him in the tank with the human faced fish in the biology club...
It's over, suddenlyโ and then it's not, Akira's lips pecking rapidfire at each corner of his own. That doesn't make Haruaki's grin subside at all; it only grows, in fact, until he's a blushing, giggling thing as he tries in vain to catch his breath.
His hands have found Akira's front at some point during that sweet kiss, and he fiddles with the collar of his shirt now, the fabric of his slightly too large white coat. ]
I still have a lot to learn. Will you keep teaching me, Takahashi-sensei?
Keep? Keep teaching him? Keep kissing him, after right now, after today??
Both of Akira's hands are on Haruaki's face, slightly squishing those pink cheeks in excitement as he finally lets some of it through, answering before he even has time to properly think over his word choice. ]
He both looks and feels like a giddy teenager with the sudden rush of dopamine, all flush and giggles and pure, unadulterated happiness. The school really could explode in a few seconds and he'd still be riding his high for the rest of...the week? Hell, the month, even.
It almost makes up for the fact Haruaki's got to leave. ]
You always know where to find me!
And if you don't, all you have to do is call and I'll come running. I promise!
[ Haruaki doesn't doubt that; he's seen a dodomeki's power up close and personal, after all. Maybe the reason Akira knows so much more about him than he realized is because he's kept eyes on him all throughout the school โ and if he wasn't doing that before, he surely will start to now.
They disentangle and he stands up from the bed, fixes his own shirt, still rumpled from having his collar yanked earlier. There's something...
[ Akira meanwhile is still sitting on the bed, lounging in post-kiss bliss with one leg slung over the other and an unspoken amount of effort put into saying a certain name. ]
[ Everything Akira said about him still rings out in his head. The kiss didn't push it from his mind โ no, it only amplified it, made it mean more. It's not that Haruaki feels like he needs to say something too, he knows Akira didn't say that with any expectations, but...
He wants to.
And all Haruaki can ever do is follow what he wants. ]
You care so much about making sure other people are looked after, it's almost scary! [ Well, a lot of the time it is scary, butโ no, that's not the point. ] And even the most hard-working person I can think of would look lazy next to you! You never give up on taking care of people, even when they try to run away!
[ These... are good points, right? Things Haruaki admires about him? Yes, for better and for worse!
That impassioned fire behind his little speech dies down into a low smolder, and the next words come out far more affectionate because of it. ]
I think people get too intimidated by you to realize you have a big heart, too, but it's right there, isn't it? I didn't have to tell you about that little zashiki-warashi for more than a minute before you offered to take her in. You're really amazing, you know.
[ Just he way he's sitting there, relaxed and assured of himself as ever...
It's not a new observation; Haruaki's thought it since they first met. It's not unique, either โ he thinks this of most men he meets. And he's dead set certain that Akira's heard it many times throughout his life. But none of that means it's less important for him to put it out there plainly: ]
And... you're a really handsome guy.
[ Oh, he'd managed to get that flush under control in preparation for facing his students again, but it comes back full force now.
Perhaps even worse than that, his cowlick takes on the shape of a heart. ]
So, I guess I just wanted to say that I'm glad I got bullied by my students about reaching adulthood without ever having gotten a kiss from anyone, but most of all... I'm glad it was you!
the way i can't even begin to write this the way i wanna you're the wooOOOOOORST
[ We're sorry. You have reached a dodomeki that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the dodomeki and try your call again.
Which is to say, at first everything Haruaki says is met with complete silence and a valiant attempt at Akira's face keeping itself at its neutral smile as much as it can. He manages it, too, for most of that time.
Until he tries to speak again. ]
That. That mea-- [ Cough, COUGH, ahem, just a little tickle in his throat. Certainly not something wet rising through his system, not at all. ] Hearing that means a lot, Abe-sensei.
He really should've expected something like this. Even he's not delusional enough to think he managed to get his words out clean and confident, and Haruaki isn't the type of person to ignore any signs of distress like that.
Which makes it much harder to keep up the already crumbling pretense of being completely fine. Nothing's spilling over just yet but his eyes are noticeably wetter, fighting against the soft pressure of his smile, so, so fond of the man he can't tear his gaze away from. ]
I will. I promise I'll tell you everything down to the smaaaallest little detail.
[ Haruaki sees that bright sheen of unshed tears, and it twists something in his chest that no one else has ever quite managed to touch before. He doesn't know why Akira's so affected exactly, but...
That doesn't change anything. He knew Akira had a soft heart beneath it all, and he'll protect it with all he's got.
And he's got quite a lot.
He squeezes Akira's shoulders, voice quiet. ]
No rush. Tell me when you're ready. I can wait.
[ He ducks in closer, presses his lips to Akira's cheek. It lingers there for a couple seconds before he straightens up, his own cheeks flushing bright. ]
[ That hand might as well be inside his chest instead, squeezing at his heart, because it would be getting the same exact results.
Akira can't help it, reaches up to place a hand on one of Haruaki's, wants to squeeze it himself and keep them both there but...there is still a world outside them.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ He shouldn't explain it, not everything, not now. Excited and eager as he is to just let everything spill out as it comes, now isn't the time. He can't very well leave it at that, though, can he...?
The hand still at Haruaki's cheek moves its thumb, gently brushing against bright, sun-kissed skin. Gods, how is it still so soft? ]
You're endlessly clever, and use that to be kind. You've made unspeakable differences in people's lives, more than someone as humble as you will ever be willing to admit. You think in ways no one I've ever met has gotten even close to, and I want to see more, learn more, learn every possible thing I can about you and how you operate and still be surprised by what you do and what you say.
...I also like the way the whole of you reacts when you see something that makes you happy. The way your pupils dilate, the slight flush of your cheeks, even your hair looks like it's enjoying itself.
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His cheek steadily burns hotter beneath Akira's gentle hand, and the only word for the expression that overtakes his face is stunned.
For a brief second, he wonders if it's a trap. Some way for the mad doctor to get one over on him andโ what, vivisect him? But he's already got Haruaki in a hospital bed, at his mercy. There's no need to go for overkill like this. And besides, even if he did, is excessive flattery really Akira's style of subterfuge? He's more likely to use his intellect than anything, and then brute force after that...
No, all signs point to what everything he's saying being entirely sincere.
Which raises a thousand more questions in Haruaki's mind, really. He didn't know Akira was paying such close attention to him.
There are so many things he could say, wants to say. But in the endโ
His hands drop from Akira's shoulders, come up in front of his own chest, index fingers pressing together. ]
If all of that is true, then...
[ As if in response to Akira's observations of him, his cowlick wiggles back and forth as he bows his head just enough to be able to look up at Akira through his lashes. On anyone else, it might be a calculated move to look as flirtatious and appealing as possible โ on Haruaki, it's entirely genuine. He doesn't mean to look the way he does. Not right now, out of his depth as he is. ]
Shouldn't we have a redo?
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And that lack of schooling shows his shock clear as day. ]
You...you really want to?
[ And speaking of flush, of dilating pupils, Akira's no better. He couldn't be broadcasting his hopes for an answer louder if he started begging outright. ]
1/2
Akira's seeing something that makes him happy...
It makes Haruaki's cheeks burn brighter, sure, but it makes him more certain of this than before, too.
He nods, hums a soft mmhmm. ]
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That serious mood snaps in half as he flusters, voice raising far too loud for how close they are (and how not secluded the nurse's office is) once more. ]
Without your tongue this time, Takahashi-sensei!!
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Okay, I'll keep my tongue to myself! I promise.
[ Boy howdy if any of those rambunctious kids stuck around to eavesdrop about any diagnosis they're getting a hell of a show.
But that's not what's on Akira's mind. What's on Akira's mind is Haruaki, and making sure this is a much gentler, memorable experience.
His collar is released, that hand instead moving to cup Haruaki's chin, an affectionate gesture and silent request to stay where he is. One more chance, lingering as he tilts his head just-so, to bail out if it all gets to be too much. ]
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He holds Akira's too-close gaze for a moment longer, eyes wide and guileless before he lets them slip shut.
He hadn't known what to do last time, and he doubts he will this time, butโ now that Akira knows that, maybe he'll show him the way. ]
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But it is also a little bit more romantic, isn't it? His own eyes sliding shut as he guides Haruaki's mouth to his, the first touch of lips once again so, so gentle. Almost reverent in how they're taking the time to savor it all this go-around.
He can still feel for reactions this way. Still know how Haruaki's feeling... ]
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But he can't just sit there and let it happen to him this time! He has to do something too. Kiss Akira back, as utterly mind-blowing as the idea even is.
So...
He just. Sort of. Tries to mirror the movement of Akira's lips, gentle pressure returned, but he can't stop himself from smiling, and that makes things more difficult. ]
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But this is a teaching moment as much as it is an indulgence. Tried and true as following your instincts is, there are some things one might forget while all caught up in giddiness and passion...
Like breathing.
When Akira eventually separates it can barely be called that--his lips are right back on Haruaki in an instant, peppering smaller kisses at the corners of his mouth as if he can't bear to be apart even if he has to for just a little bit.
Hm. How does one train to hold their breath longer? Something else to put a pin in for later. ]
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It's over, suddenlyโ and then it's not, Akira's lips pecking rapidfire at each corner of his own. That doesn't make Haruaki's grin subside at all; it only grows, in fact, until he's a blushing, giggling thing as he tries in vain to catch his breath.
His hands have found Akira's front at some point during that sweet kiss, and he fiddles with the collar of his shirt now, the fabric of his slightly too large white coat. ]
I still have a lot to learn. Will you keep teaching me, Takahashi-sensei?
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Keep? Keep teaching him? Keep kissing him, after right now, after today??
Both of Akira's hands are on Haruaki's face, slightly squishing those pink cheeks in excitement as he finally lets some of it through, answering before he even has time to properly think over his word choice. ]
I would love to! I'd love nothing more!
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Haruaki speaks through it, words coming slightly muffled from his mooshed cheeks. ]
I can't wait to tell the uniforms about this...
[ He still looks fairly stunned at Akira, at all of what's transpired. There's something he has to say, but...
The bell rings, and all of the sudden, he's yanked back down to earth.
He smooths Akira's coat down with both hands, reaches up to gently take his wrists and get un-squished. ]
I have class with the first years, so I have to go, but...
[ A beat, and then he leans in quick as a flash, lips pressing against Akira's in a chaste, inelegant kiss.
He did it!! ]
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He both looks and feels like a giddy teenager with the sudden rush of dopamine, all flush and giggles and pure, unadulterated happiness. The school really could explode in a few seconds and he'd still be riding his high for the rest of...the week? Hell, the month, even.
It almost makes up for the fact Haruaki's got to leave. ]
You always know where to find me!
And if you don't, all you have to do is call and I'll come running. I promise!
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They disentangle and he stands up from the bed, fixes his own shirt, still rumpled from having his collar yanked earlier. There's something...
Haruaki pauses at the door, still closed tight.
There's something.
He whirls around, eyes suddenly ablaze. ]
Takahashi-sensei!!
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A. Be. Sen. Sei?โก
gross. god. bye
He wants to.
And all Haruaki can ever do is follow what he wants. ]
You care so much about making sure other people are looked after, it's almost scary! [ Well, a lot of the time it is scary, butโ no, that's not the point. ] And even the most hard-working person I can think of would look lazy next to you! You never give up on taking care of people, even when they try to run away!
[ These... are good points, right? Things Haruaki admires about him? Yes, for better and for worse!
That impassioned fire behind his little speech dies down into a low smolder, and the next words come out far more affectionate because of it. ]
I think people get too intimidated by you to realize you have a big heart, too, but it's right there, isn't it? I didn't have to tell you about that little zashiki-warashi for more than a minute before you offered to take her in. You're really amazing, you know.
[ Just he way he's sitting there, relaxed and assured of himself as ever...
It's not a new observation; Haruaki's thought it since they first met. It's not unique, either โ he thinks this of most men he meets. And he's dead set certain that Akira's heard it many times throughout his life. But none of that means it's less important for him to put it out there plainly: ]
And... you're a really handsome guy.
[ Oh, he'd managed to get that flush under control in preparation for facing his students again, but it comes back full force now.
Perhaps even worse than that, his cowlick takes on the shape of a heart. ]
So, I guess I just wanted to say that I'm glad I got bullied by my students about reaching adulthood without ever having gotten a kiss from anyone, but most of all... I'm glad it was you!
the way i can't even begin to write this the way i wanna you're the wooOOOOOORST
Which is to say, at first everything Haruaki says is met with complete silence and a valiant attempt at Akira's face keeping itself at its neutral smile as much as it can. He manages it, too, for most of that time.
Until he tries to speak again. ]
That. That mea-- [ Cough, COUGH, ahem, just a little tickle in his throat. Certainly not something wet rising through his system, not at all. ] Hearing that means a lot, Abe-sensei.
More than you can know.
hehes louder and louder
Haruaki was ready to zoom out the door after that speech, hurry down to class, butโ
He's never heard Akira's voice sound like that before. The words come out a little tighter, and with a surprisingly heavy weight to them.
He pauses, thenโ
Darts back over to the bed in the blink of an eye, hands on Akira's shoulders as he leans down close to his face. ]
Tell me sometime. Okay? I want to know.
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He really should've expected something like this. Even he's not delusional enough to think he managed to get his words out clean and confident, and Haruaki isn't the type of person to ignore any signs of distress like that.
Which makes it much harder to keep up the already crumbling pretense of being completely fine. Nothing's spilling over just yet but his eyes are noticeably wetter, fighting against the soft pressure of his smile, so, so fond of the man he can't tear his gaze away from. ]
I will. I promise I'll tell you everything down to the smaaaallest little detail.
sickening..... SICKENINGGGGGGGGG
That doesn't change anything. He knew Akira had a soft heart beneath it all, and he'll protect it with all he's got.
And he's got quite a lot.
He squeezes Akira's shoulders, voice quiet. ]
No rush. Tell me when you're ready. I can wait.
[ He ducks in closer, presses his lips to Akira's cheek. It lingers there for a couple seconds before he straightens up, his own cheeks flushing bright. ]
I'll see you after class?
CHEWS YOU CHEWS YOU CHEWS YOU
Akira can't help it, reaches up to place a hand on one of Haruaki's, wants to squeeze it himself and keep them both there but...there is still a world outside them.
So instead, he simply nods. ]
Mm. I'll see you then.