[ He squeaks like a chew toy as he's pulled in. For a long moment, he only lets himself be held tight, arms trapped at his sides and face squished into the crook of Akira's shoulder.
It really is nothing like being piled on by mandragoras for a midday nap. Being held by another person, especially one as important to him as Akira...
Haruaki would never call himself a lonely person, not outright. But it's only within recent months that he's made the first friends of his life, and he's been without them here. It's only because of Akira that he hasn't found himself back in a familiar isolation – friendly with many, but set apart by a distance he's never quite understood or been able to bridge. If asked before, he would have said it didn't bother him, but having what he does now, he knows he never wants to have to return to it.
Slowly, he wriggles one of his arms free so he can bring it up, rest his hand against Akira's bicep wrapped around him. Haruaki relies on him for a lot more than he thinks the man is aware. It's difficult not to feel like he's drowning in his own gratitude, suddenly.
He doesn't have the energy to give voice to all his thoughts, though. So he only shifts to rest more comfortably in Akira's arms and gives one of them a little squeeze. ]
If you try to sneak out of bed and keep working, I'll have to get even more underhanded next time.
The satisfaction of doing something mischievous is snuffed the instant Haruaki relaxes into his hold, replaced by hyperawareness of his own very, very present heartbeat.
There are no gods here, at least he doesn't think so, and he's never been in the habit of praying to them for obvious reasons. But if anything out there is looking down on Akira favorably tonight, they won't let the thing break right through his ribcage and tattle on him as it's threatening to.
Sleep. He needs to focus on sleeping, getting a relaxed rhythm to his breathing that'll calm him down so his impulses won't pull him yet further forward.
The way his fingers lock behind Haruaki's back wouldn't help if he realized he was doing it. ]
That kind of makes me want to see what you come up with, you know.
I'm sure it'll happen eventually. So you don't need to tempt fate on purpose!
[ Frankly, he's underutilizing his scheming tactics here in this world, but– well, one thing at a time. There will be opportunities. Haruaki's sure of that.
As he nestles down yet again to try to achieve maximum comfiness, he winds up yanking the other arm free from Akira's grip as well. It has nowhere to go, though, so he ends up draping it around Akira's back in kind, palm pressing warm against his spine. ]
The best part of sleepovers is staying up late talking, huh? But we really should sleep...
Only one? When I already have a hundred and counting?
[ Said half-teasing, half-serious. Because of course once his mind started with this trail of dominos it won't stop, not even for new bedtime rules.
Still, though, narrowing it down to just one, eesh. He shifts just a little, getting more comfortable as he considers his many options...and how safe he wants to be with them. ]
The students. Everyone at the school, I guess, but...
[ Haruaki goes quiet, his breath deep and even enough that Akira could be forgiven for thinking he trailed off and drifted away to sleep, but eventually that thought does finish. ]
When you're a teacher, you only get a short amount of time with your students. I hope I'm in their lives for a long time, of course! But we're only guaranteed one year together. So even though I know they're safe without me right now... I still miss spending that time with them.
[ It's a simple statement of fact, but one said with fondness all the same. The other teachers at the academy are good as well, of course, the Principal doesn't select his staff without reason. But Haruaki always goes the extra mile, goes an extra continent if he can help it, and he usually can; even just as the schoolchildren's GP he's noticed a change in them from it.
A change for the better. ]
I don't think there are better hands for them to be in than your own, Abe-sensei. Both as an outside observer and as a parent.
[ There's no hiding the pleased smile that quirks Haruaki's lips, nor the almost shy flush that stains his cheeks. It's dark in the room, but if anyone could see it, it would be Akira. ]
That means a lot to me, Akira-kun. Thank you.
[ If he dwells on it, he'll probably get too emotional, especially with how tired he is– and besides... ]
Hey. [ The hand at Akira's back pats a couple times, gentle. ] I get to ask you my question now, right?
[ Akira isn't the only one with a hundred questions. Haruaki only has more now than he did when he first arrived. It's strange, isn't it? One would think that living with someone would dispel mysteries, not create them.
Perhaps it's just because he sees so many more sides of Akira now than he did before.
He searches the dim outlines of the slopes and planes of Akira's face through the darkness, considers it for as long as they can bear to let the quiet settle over them, then makes his decision. ]
What do you want for yourself, more than anything? [ Another pat to Akira's back, as if stopping him from answering right away. ] There are two rules! You can't say knowledge, and it does have to be for yourself. Not something you can turn around and use for other people.
[ Haruaki smiles at him, eyes impossibly bright. ]
[ His chest gently rumbles against Haruaki's in a laugh, smile clear in his voice. ]
You keep adding rules! But alright, alright, let's see...
[ That sure fits the bill for a deep sleepover question. What he wants for himself, more than anything, besides knowledge...? It isn't something he's thought about very often, considering knowledge is what he most wants at any given time. What he uses that knowledge for--to help as many people as he can--is against the rules as well, so he's left to chew on that question for quite a while.
His fingers, still laced behind Haruaki's back, idly fidget with themselves as he considers. What else does he use that knowledge for... ]
I want...
Hm.
...I want to connect to people.
[ His voice is quiet, contemplative, as if he's still piecing the thoughts together as he speaks. ]
It feels as though most other people are able to understand each other in ways I'm not sure I've experienced. Even after all this time, after everything I've learned, something important is still missing and I'm not any closer to figuring out what it is.
[ Haruaki lets Akira slowly puzzle through those developing ideas for as long as he needs, waits a few heavy heartbeats after he finishes speaking to be sure he's done.
It's impossible to resist the urge to bring a hand up and lay it over the top of Akira's head, rubbing his hair gently from side to side. ]
You've always achieved everything you set your mind to, right? I don't see why this is any different. It might take a long time, but you'll find what you're missing, and then I think everything will click.
[ That petting motion stills, but Haruaki doesn't move his hand away, limbs heavy with exhaustion. When was the last time he stayed up this late? If they do this every night, his robotic schedule might actually have to adjust... ]
[ His eyes can't help but flutter closed at the feeling of Haruaki's hand in his hair. Such a simple, childish joy, and yet it's one he won't hesitate to accept. Especially not now, when his inhibitions are slowly, steadily being washed away by the promise of sleep. ]
If I'm really allowed to be selfish in this hypothetical...I want you there when I find it.
[ He nestles in just a little closer. ]
That's what I want more than anything.
IT WAS PROBABLY OBVIOUS BUT I FORGOR TO MENTION WE CAN WRAP ON YRS
Between the two of us, there's no way we can fail.
[ Akira is growing still and heavy against him, and Haruaki's powerless to fight the way it seeps into his system too. His eyes finally close fully, hand in Akira's hair relaxing, but it doesn't drop away. ]
We should do this tomorrow night, too. The questions, and... [ Oh, BIG yawn. ] And the sleep...
[ He has, generously, thirty seconds of consciousness left in him. ]
Edited (i was banking it and realized... i forgor to say.... i dum) 2025-07-21 08:10 (UTC)
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no subject
It really is nothing like being piled on by mandragoras for a midday nap. Being held by another person, especially one as important to him as Akira...
Haruaki would never call himself a lonely person, not outright. But it's only within recent months that he's made the first friends of his life, and he's been without them here. It's only because of Akira that he hasn't found himself back in a familiar isolation – friendly with many, but set apart by a distance he's never quite understood or been able to bridge. If asked before, he would have said it didn't bother him, but having what he does now, he knows he never wants to have to return to it.
Slowly, he wriggles one of his arms free so he can bring it up, rest his hand against Akira's bicep wrapped around him. Haruaki relies on him for a lot more than he thinks the man is aware. It's difficult not to feel like he's drowning in his own gratitude, suddenly.
He doesn't have the energy to give voice to all his thoughts, though. So he only shifts to rest more comfortably in Akira's arms and gives one of them a little squeeze. ]
If you try to sneak out of bed and keep working, I'll have to get even more underhanded next time.
no subject
The satisfaction of doing something mischievous is snuffed the instant Haruaki relaxes into his hold, replaced by hyperawareness of his own very, very present heartbeat.
There are no gods here, at least he doesn't think so, and he's never been in the habit of praying to them for obvious reasons. But if anything out there is looking down on Akira favorably tonight, they won't let the thing break right through his ribcage and tattle on him as it's threatening to.
Sleep. He needs to focus on sleeping, getting a relaxed rhythm to his breathing that'll calm him down so his impulses won't pull him yet further forward.
The way his fingers lock behind Haruaki's back wouldn't help if he realized he was doing it. ]
That kind of makes me want to see what you come up with, you know.
[ Quiet, calm, casual. Everything is fine. ]
no subject
[ Aren't you curious about me? ]
I'm sure it'll happen eventually. So you don't need to tempt fate on purpose!
[ Frankly, he's underutilizing his scheming tactics here in this world, but– well, one thing at a time. There will be opportunities. Haruaki's sure of that.
As he nestles down yet again to try to achieve maximum comfiness, he winds up yanking the other arm free from Akira's grip as well. It has nowhere to go, though, so he ends up draping it around Akira's back in kind, palm pressing warm against his spine. ]
The best part of sleepovers is staying up late talking, huh? But we really should sleep...
no subject
Inhale for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight. ]
We should. Even if I could come up with a thousand questions to ask now that we're here.
[ His heart may not make it through the night, but so long as Haruaki can fall back asleep and rest comfortably in his arms it'll be worthwhile. ]
no subject
[ He stifles a long, long yawn, eyes drooping shut where his face is hidden away. ]
What kind of questions? Ah! How about this, we can each only ask one, then we sleep!
no subject
[ Said half-teasing, half-serious. Because of course once his mind started with this trail of dominos it won't stop, not even for new bedtime rules.
Still, though, narrowing it down to just one, eesh. He shifts just a little, getting more comfortable as he considers his many options...and how safe he wants to be with them. ]
...What do you miss most about home?
no subject
But he can wish for those.
There are things he can't wish for. ]
The students. Everyone at the school, I guess, but...
[ Haruaki goes quiet, his breath deep and even enough that Akira could be forgiven for thinking he trailed off and drifted away to sleep, but eventually that thought does finish. ]
When you're a teacher, you only get a short amount of time with your students. I hope I'm in their lives for a long time, of course! But we're only guaranteed one year together. So even though I know they're safe without me right now... I still miss spending that time with them.
okay NOW i nap
[ It's a simple statement of fact, but one said with fondness all the same. The other teachers at the academy are good as well, of course, the Principal doesn't select his staff without reason. But Haruaki always goes the extra mile, goes an extra continent if he can help it, and he usually can; even just as the schoolchildren's GP he's noticed a change in them from it.
A change for the better. ]
I don't think there are better hands for them to be in than your own, Abe-sensei. Both as an outside observer and as a parent.
utterly exploding about it tbh
That means a lot to me, Akira-kun. Thank you.
[ If he dwells on it, he'll probably get too emotional, especially with how tired he is– and besides... ]
Hey. [ The hand at Akira's back pats a couple times, gentle. ] I get to ask you my question now, right?
no subject
Leave it to Haruaki of all people to make that contradiction work, he supposes. ]
Mhmm. Aaaaanything you want, all yours to know.
no subject
Perhaps it's just because he sees so many more sides of Akira now than he did before.
He searches the dim outlines of the slopes and planes of Akira's face through the darkness, considers it for as long as they can bear to let the quiet settle over them, then makes his decision. ]
What do you want for yourself, more than anything? [ Another pat to Akira's back, as if stopping him from answering right away. ] There are two rules! You can't say knowledge, and it does have to be for yourself. Not something you can turn around and use for other people.
[ Haruaki smiles at him, eyes impossibly bright. ]
Okay, go!
no subject
You keep adding rules! But alright, alright, let's see...
[ That sure fits the bill for a deep sleepover question. What he wants for himself, more than anything, besides knowledge...? It isn't something he's thought about very often, considering knowledge is what he most wants at any given time. What he uses that knowledge for--to help as many people as he can--is against the rules as well, so he's left to chew on that question for quite a while.
His fingers, still laced behind Haruaki's back, idly fidget with themselves as he considers. What else does he use that knowledge for... ]
I want...
Hm.
...I want to connect to people.
[ His voice is quiet, contemplative, as if he's still piecing the thoughts together as he speaks. ]
It feels as though most other people are able to understand each other in ways I'm not sure I've experienced. Even after all this time, after everything I've learned, something important is still missing and I'm not any closer to figuring out what it is.
But I want to.
no subject
It's impossible to resist the urge to bring a hand up and lay it over the top of Akira's head, rubbing his hair gently from side to side. ]
You've always achieved everything you set your mind to, right? I don't see why this is any different. It might take a long time, but you'll find what you're missing, and then I think everything will click.
[ That petting motion stills, but Haruaki doesn't move his hand away, limbs heavy with exhaustion. When was the last time he stayed up this late? If they do this every night, his robotic schedule might actually have to adjust... ]
I want to help you find it.
no subject
If I'm really allowed to be selfish in this hypothetical...I want you there when I find it.
[ He nestles in just a little closer. ]
That's what I want more than anything.
IT WAS PROBABLY OBVIOUS BUT I FORGOR TO MENTION WE CAN WRAP ON YRS
[ Simple as that. ]
Between the two of us, there's no way we can fail.
[ Akira is growing still and heavy against him, and Haruaki's powerless to fight the way it seeps into his system too. His eyes finally close fully, hand in Akira's hair relaxing, but it doesn't drop away. ]
We should do this tomorrow night, too. The questions, and... [ Oh, BIG yawn. ] And the sleep...
[ He has, generously, thirty seconds of consciousness left in him. ]