The students. Everyone at the school, I guess, but...
[ Haruaki goes quiet, his breath deep and even enough that Akira could be forgiven for thinking he trailed off and drifted away to sleep, but eventually that thought does finish. ]
When you're a teacher, you only get a short amount of time with your students. I hope I'm in their lives for a long time, of course! But we're only guaranteed one year together. So even though I know they're safe without me right now... I still miss spending that time with them.
[ It's a simple statement of fact, but one said with fondness all the same. The other teachers at the academy are good as well, of course, the Principal doesn't select his staff without reason. But Haruaki always goes the extra mile, goes an extra continent if he can help it, and he usually can; even just as the schoolchildren's GP he's noticed a change in them from it.
A change for the better. ]
I don't think there are better hands for them to be in than your own, Abe-sensei. Both as an outside observer and as a parent.
[ There's no hiding the pleased smile that quirks Haruaki's lips, nor the almost shy flush that stains his cheeks. It's dark in the room, but if anyone could see it, it would be Akira. ]
That means a lot to me, Akira-kun. Thank you.
[ If he dwells on it, he'll probably get too emotional, especially with how tired he isโ and besides... ]
Hey. [ The hand at Akira's back pats a couple times, gentle. ] I get to ask you my question now, right?
[ Akira isn't the only one with a hundred questions. Haruaki only has more now than he did when he first arrived. It's strange, isn't it? One would think that living with someone would dispel mysteries, not create them.
Perhaps it's just because he sees so many more sides of Akira now than he did before.
He searches the dim outlines of the slopes and planes of Akira's face through the darkness, considers it for as long as they can bear to let the quiet settle over them, then makes his decision. ]
What do you want for yourself, more than anything? [ Another pat to Akira's back, as if stopping him from answering right away. ] There are two rules! You can't say knowledge, and it does have to be for yourself. Not something you can turn around and use for other people.
[ Haruaki smiles at him, eyes impossibly bright. ]
[ His chest gently rumbles against Haruaki's in a laugh, smile clear in his voice. ]
You keep adding rules! But alright, alright, let's see...
[ That sure fits the bill for a deep sleepover question. What he wants for himself, more than anything, besides knowledge...? It isn't something he's thought about very often, considering knowledge is what he most wants at any given time. What he uses that knowledge for--to help as many people as he can--is against the rules as well, so he's left to chew on that question for quite a while.
His fingers, still laced behind Haruaki's back, idly fidget with themselves as he considers. What else does he use that knowledge for... ]
I want...
Hm.
...I want to connect to people.
[ His voice is quiet, contemplative, as if he's still piecing the thoughts together as he speaks. ]
It feels as though most other people are able to understand each other in ways I'm not sure I've experienced. Even after all this time, after everything I've learned, something important is still missing and I'm not any closer to figuring out what it is.
[ Haruaki lets Akira slowly puzzle through those developing ideas for as long as he needs, waits a few heavy heartbeats after he finishes speaking to be sure he's done.
It's impossible to resist the urge to bring a hand up and lay it over the top of Akira's head, rubbing his hair gently from side to side. ]
You've always achieved everything you set your mind to, right? I don't see why this is any different. It might take a long time, but you'll find what you're missing, and then I think everything will click.
[ That petting motion stills, but Haruaki doesn't move his hand away, limbs heavy with exhaustion. When was the last time he stayed up this late? If they do this every night, his robotic schedule might actually have to adjust... ]
[ His eyes can't help but flutter closed at the feeling of Haruaki's hand in his hair. Such a simple, childish joy, and yet it's one he won't hesitate to accept. Especially not now, when his inhibitions are slowly, steadily being washed away by the promise of sleep. ]
If I'm really allowed to be selfish in this hypothetical...I want you there when I find it.
[ He nestles in just a little closer. ]
That's what I want more than anything.
IT WAS PROBABLY OBVIOUS BUT I FORGOR TO MENTION WE CAN WRAP ON YRS
Between the two of us, there's no way we can fail.
[ Akira is growing still and heavy against him, and Haruaki's powerless to fight the way it seeps into his system too. His eyes finally close fully, hand in Akira's hair relaxing, but it doesn't drop away. ]
We should do this tomorrow night, too. The questions, and... [ Oh, BIG yawn. ] And the sleep...
[ He has, generously, thirty seconds of consciousness left in him. ]
Edited (i was banking it and realized... i forgor to say.... i dum) 2025-07-21 08:10 (UTC)
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no subject
But he can wish for those.
There are things he can't wish for. ]
The students. Everyone at the school, I guess, but...
[ Haruaki goes quiet, his breath deep and even enough that Akira could be forgiven for thinking he trailed off and drifted away to sleep, but eventually that thought does finish. ]
When you're a teacher, you only get a short amount of time with your students. I hope I'm in their lives for a long time, of course! But we're only guaranteed one year together. So even though I know they're safe without me right now... I still miss spending that time with them.
okay NOW i nap
[ It's a simple statement of fact, but one said with fondness all the same. The other teachers at the academy are good as well, of course, the Principal doesn't select his staff without reason. But Haruaki always goes the extra mile, goes an extra continent if he can help it, and he usually can; even just as the schoolchildren's GP he's noticed a change in them from it.
A change for the better. ]
I don't think there are better hands for them to be in than your own, Abe-sensei. Both as an outside observer and as a parent.
utterly exploding about it tbh
That means a lot to me, Akira-kun. Thank you.
[ If he dwells on it, he'll probably get too emotional, especially with how tired he isโ and besides... ]
Hey. [ The hand at Akira's back pats a couple times, gentle. ] I get to ask you my question now, right?
no subject
Leave it to Haruaki of all people to make that contradiction work, he supposes. ]
Mhmm. Aaaaanything you want, all yours to know.
no subject
Perhaps it's just because he sees so many more sides of Akira now than he did before.
He searches the dim outlines of the slopes and planes of Akira's face through the darkness, considers it for as long as they can bear to let the quiet settle over them, then makes his decision. ]
What do you want for yourself, more than anything? [ Another pat to Akira's back, as if stopping him from answering right away. ] There are two rules! You can't say knowledge, and it does have to be for yourself. Not something you can turn around and use for other people.
[ Haruaki smiles at him, eyes impossibly bright. ]
Okay, go!
no subject
You keep adding rules! But alright, alright, let's see...
[ That sure fits the bill for a deep sleepover question. What he wants for himself, more than anything, besides knowledge...? It isn't something he's thought about very often, considering knowledge is what he most wants at any given time. What he uses that knowledge for--to help as many people as he can--is against the rules as well, so he's left to chew on that question for quite a while.
His fingers, still laced behind Haruaki's back, idly fidget with themselves as he considers. What else does he use that knowledge for... ]
I want...
Hm.
...I want to connect to people.
[ His voice is quiet, contemplative, as if he's still piecing the thoughts together as he speaks. ]
It feels as though most other people are able to understand each other in ways I'm not sure I've experienced. Even after all this time, after everything I've learned, something important is still missing and I'm not any closer to figuring out what it is.
But I want to.
no subject
It's impossible to resist the urge to bring a hand up and lay it over the top of Akira's head, rubbing his hair gently from side to side. ]
You've always achieved everything you set your mind to, right? I don't see why this is any different. It might take a long time, but you'll find what you're missing, and then I think everything will click.
[ That petting motion stills, but Haruaki doesn't move his hand away, limbs heavy with exhaustion. When was the last time he stayed up this late? If they do this every night, his robotic schedule might actually have to adjust... ]
I want to help you find it.
no subject
If I'm really allowed to be selfish in this hypothetical...I want you there when I find it.
[ He nestles in just a little closer. ]
That's what I want more than anything.
IT WAS PROBABLY OBVIOUS BUT I FORGOR TO MENTION WE CAN WRAP ON YRS
[ Simple as that. ]
Between the two of us, there's no way we can fail.
[ Akira is growing still and heavy against him, and Haruaki's powerless to fight the way it seeps into his system too. His eyes finally close fully, hand in Akira's hair relaxing, but it doesn't drop away. ]
We should do this tomorrow night, too. The questions, and... [ Oh, BIG yawn. ] And the sleep...
[ He has, generously, thirty seconds of consciousness left in him. ]