[ His hands move on instinct, the social ritual of comforting someone when they're crying one he's had to practice enough times in his career that it's second nature now. Gentle pats and circles drawn on the back, quiet shushes, this is what he's learned most people find comforting.
But. Hm. This is off, enough that he isn't sure a script will work. Haruaki is vocal with his emotions, loud enough with them that he practically wears them on everyone else's sleeves, so this--what Akira can only describe at the moment as 'restraint'--feels.
Wrong.
Wrong enough to stop the practiced motions for now, but not to pull away. ]
[ Immediately, Haruaki shakes his headโ wait, no! That makes it seem like he isn't okay!!! He starts nodding instead, face still shoved into Akira's shoulder so hard that when he starts to speak, his words are too muffledโ
Which means when he raises it to look Akira in the eye, he'll see just how stunned Haruaki is by this simple birthday gesture, teary-eyed expression cracked open like he's just seen one of the wonders of the world. ]
I'm alright! I'm better than alright! I'm so happy...
[ He draws a huge, shuddering breath as he tries to get it together, practically attempting to suck the tears back up into his eyes. ]
I'm not used to anyone making a big deal for my birthday, and you must have spent so much time on this! It just... it means a lot to me, that's all...
[ It's an inadequate explanation for why this hits so hard, in such a sensitive part of his bleeding heart, but Haruaki's never quite sure how to talk about it. The way his life is so full now only makes those lonely years stand out starker in contrast.
His hands squeeze anxiously where they're wrapped around Akira, and he ducks in to press a kiss to his cheek, nuzzling his final words there. ]
Thank you so much. I really, really mean that, Akira-kun.
[ He's not entirely sure he gets it, not as concretely as he'd like, but there are a lot of things he doesn't get the privilege of understanding the way he wants.
He knows Haruaki has lived a lonely life, strange and foreign as the idea of him not being surrounded by people who adore him is. And he knows Haruaki has large reactions even to small gestures, in ways Akira can't accurately predict, so he already wasn't sure what to expect for this morning. But putting those two things together, and this new information of birthdays being included in that trend of having to endure a life with few others...
Well. It paints a good enough picture.
He brings a hand up to pet at Haruaki's hair, the smile and so, so much fondness clear as day in his voice. ]
And I'll do it again next year. And the year after that, no matter where we are, I'll be making a big deal about your birthday if it makes you this happy.
[ Oh, that just makes the tears want to flow even harder, but noโ Haruaki sucks it up, focuses on peppering Akira's cheek with kiss after kiss until he's smiling too hard to keep doing it. ]
Waaah, I'm so lucky to have you...
[ And then he begins tugging Akira toward the table, insistent. ]
Come on, I don't want it to get cold! You'll join me, right? You should get to eat some too, you worked so hard!
[ He doesn't need much tugging at all to follow, smile wide and dopey after an onslaught of kisses--he'd do just about anything right now if Haruaki asked. ]
If you want me to, I will! [ Was. Was the original plan to sit and watch him eat...? Yeah. Probably. ] It's your birthday, after all!
akira that's a nightmare scenario. that's worse than the vivisection
[ Yay!! Haruaki even pulls the chair Akira usually occupies over to his own side of the table so they can sit next to one another, the breakfast spread out before both of them. ]
Everything looks so beautiful!!
[ Not because it's immaculate, no, but because it's clearly so lovingly prepared. Haruaki claps his hands together, thanks given for the food, then looks over at Akira as he picks up his chopsticks. ]
What do you want to try first? I know it's my birthday, but you cooked it! You get to choose which one you think is best!
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no subject
But. Hm. This is off, enough that he isn't sure a script will work. Haruaki is vocal with his emotions, loud enough with them that he practically wears them on everyone else's sleeves, so this--what Akira can only describe at the moment as 'restraint'--feels.
Wrong.
Wrong enough to stop the practiced motions for now, but not to pull away. ]
Oniisan...? Are you alright?
no subject
Which means when he raises it to look Akira in the eye, he'll see just how stunned Haruaki is by this simple birthday gesture, teary-eyed expression cracked open like he's just seen one of the wonders of the world. ]
I'm alright! I'm better than alright! I'm so happy...
[ He draws a huge, shuddering breath as he tries to get it together, practically attempting to suck the tears back up into his eyes. ]
I'm not used to anyone making a big deal for my birthday, and you must have spent so much time on this! It just... it means a lot to me, that's all...
[ It's an inadequate explanation for why this hits so hard, in such a sensitive part of his bleeding heart, but Haruaki's never quite sure how to talk about it. The way his life is so full now only makes those lonely years stand out starker in contrast.
His hands squeeze anxiously where they're wrapped around Akira, and he ducks in to press a kiss to his cheek, nuzzling his final words there. ]
Thank you so much. I really, really mean that, Akira-kun.
no subject
He knows Haruaki has lived a lonely life, strange and foreign as the idea of him not being surrounded by people who adore him is. And he knows Haruaki has large reactions even to small gestures, in ways Akira can't accurately predict, so he already wasn't sure what to expect for this morning. But putting those two things together, and this new information of birthdays being included in that trend of having to endure a life with few others...
Well. It paints a good enough picture.
He brings a hand up to pet at Haruaki's hair, the smile and so, so much fondness clear as day in his voice. ]
And I'll do it again next year. And the year after that, no matter where we are, I'll be making a big deal about your birthday if it makes you this happy.
no subject
Waaah, I'm so lucky to have you...
[ And then he begins tugging Akira toward the table, insistent. ]
Come on, I don't want it to get cold! You'll join me, right? You should get to eat some too, you worked so hard!
no subject
If you want me to, I will! [ Was. Was the original plan to sit and watch him eat...? Yeah. Probably. ] It's your birthday, after all!
akira that's a nightmare scenario. that's worse than the vivisection
Everything looks so beautiful!!
[ Not because it's immaculate, no, but because it's clearly so lovingly prepared. Haruaki claps his hands together, thanks given for the food, then looks over at Akira as he picks up his chopsticks. ]
What do you want to try first? I know it's my birthday, but you cooked it! You get to choose which one you think is best!