He does. He has all the choices in the world that Seimei never did. His life is his own, in most ways– in the ways that matter, at least.
It... doesn't fully abate the feelings he's been having, of the sheer unfairness of all the bad things that keep happening to him and his students because people still have a bone to pick with Abe no Seimei, but it is a balm. ]
[ Does it make it better or worse that he knows Seimei can read his mind, and he still doesn't change anything about the way he thinks? Haruaki is Haruaki, no matter who else is lining his stitched-together soul. Seimei gets this, the most authentic version of him. ]
I'm not ashamed, I just... don't want you to think I'm ungrateful.
[ And that does draw a smile out of him, small but pure in its warmth. ]
All the best things in my life, I have because of you.
It's true that my reputation has opened many doors for you, each with a fair amount of trouble behind.
Had you not walked through those doors, though, you would not be where you are now. Had you rejected Douman-kun's offer, you could have lived an easier life.
[ To his credit, Haruaki doesn't look put out by that. Not at all. His eyes and smile are both bright on Seimei's, full of life where his ancestor's never were. ]
That's okay, I get it. Seriously... I promise I didn't come here to interrogate you or anything. I just wanted to see you, like I said.
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You have a choice, Haruaki-kun.
[Therein lies the difference.]
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He does. He has all the choices in the world that Seimei never did. His life is his own, in most ways– in the ways that matter, at least.
It... doesn't fully abate the feelings he's been having, of the sheer unfairness of all the bad things that keep happening to him and his students because people still have a bone to pick with Abe no Seimei, but it is a balm. ]
You're right. I do.
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[Don't forget, Haruaki, Seimei can read your mind.]
It is unfair to be blamed for another person's actions. Anyone would feel the same way. Why are you so ashamed?
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I'm not ashamed, I just... don't want you to think I'm ungrateful.
[ And that does draw a smile out of him, small but pure in its warmth. ]
All the best things in my life, I have because of you.
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It's true that my reputation has opened many doors for you, each with a fair amount of trouble behind.
Had you not walked through those doors, though, you would not be where you are now. Had you rejected Douman-kun's offer, you could have lived an easier life.
[An emptier life.]
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[ Sometimes he feels like he doesn't have a choice in everything that's happened to him, but– he does, doesn't he? He always does. ]
Do you think I've been making the right choices?
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I'm sure you'd very much like me to give you those answers. I'm sorry, Haruaki-kun. I can't.
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That's okay, I get it. Seriously... I promise I didn't come here to interrogate you or anything. I just wanted to see you, like I said.
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I don't feel interrogated.
You're a human who must comprehend impossible things. It's natural to have questions.
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[ Glad Seimei doesn't feel put on the spot, and... glad about being able to ask his questions, too.
Haruaki spins in a slow circle, head tipped up to watch all the stars spread out overhead, before his sights land on Seimei again. ]
Is there anything you need from me while I'm here?
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[Seimei looks up to the sky.]
I've been dead a thousand years now.
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That means you've been alone for a thousand years too, doesn't it?
[ Ignoring the kitsune attendants that he had on that bridge the first time they met. Who knows if they can even talk. ]